January 07, 2007
Randomly...
It's not that I don't know something is wrong with 'I'm everything not who you thought I am'. haha. Thanks, meisen-needs-a-grammar-manual(?!?!).
But, somehow, 'I'm not everything that you thought I am' and 'I'm everything you thought I'm not' just doesn't seem to convey what I wanted to express.
I'd work on it later...
xxx
Just last week, I was still having lunch at Anna's wedding. And getting stressed smses from stressed Apple about her wedding dinner that was to take place in 5 hours' time.
It feels like a long time ago.
I'm really glad everything went on smoothly at Apple's wedding. And that I had a great part in every detail of it too. It was a lot of fun, after the stress and confusion clears out.
And it was very gratifying to see how relieved and happy she was in her bridal suite after the whole dinner. Though I must have looked really stoned, with Kyn's arm slung around my neck, equally stoned and cold.
I love the express highlight too! Looking forward to view the 2 hours long edited video of the whole wedding!
xxx
It must have been ages, more than 10 years, to be precise, since we last had such a long chat. Zikai's changed, aged. So have I. What else is new?
But our chat gave me some new insight into what exactly is a relationship? And, most importantly, I realised that he's probably as steadfast as he was (if not more) in loving someone.
I'm beginning to think, maybe I didn't interpret my feeling wrongly. Maybe, like so many of my friends, who just got married, told me... (not in verbatim) "You just know it when you've met the right person. You just know that if you don't hold onto it, you will miss the boat and it will never retun."
He and me, we seem to be in the same sort of boat. Except he's working on nothing to begin with, not even sailing, but just waiting for the person to decide to come onto the boat with him.
Me, I'm sailing to nowhere. Not exactly. I sail very far, in my dreams. And all of you have been sailing alongside me. In this blog.
xxx
Wenn, Apple and I were on Apple's bed, with the lil girl we were helping to babysit. Apple's flower gal, Nat.
Wenn was sleeping, lightly. Apple and I were playing with Nat. Keeping her entertained. She's so lovable when she smiled and looked at me, "Can you help me?" I gave her a hand to pull her up onto the bed.
Apple said I was talking crap when I frantically told Nat, "Quick! Come up! The sharks are coming!" And she really climbed up onto the bed, quite frantically too. It was funny! But, that's what my sisters and I used to play too, when we were young. Imagined adventures. What's crappy about that?
But, as we played with Nat, on the big comfy bed, and woke Wenn up by getting Nat to sing, I thought, that was really such a simple and honest kind of happiness. I was with my closest friends, doing nothing except to sing along with a 2 year old girl (Apple's reminder that we are 2 chinese zodiac cycles OLDER than her).
"Itsy bitsy spider..."
xxx
Apple said she's afraid at the thought of aging and dying. And that she wants to die before Wenn and I did. Then, Wenn said it's not likely. She said 'cos she's dying soon, maybe tomorrow. And I thought, 'ya, me too...'
You really can't blame me for having morbid thoughts when I have them as my close friends.
xxx
Kyn is the one who keeps telling me not to doubt her. From the beginning till now. Even till now.
I see a little bit of Kay in Kyn, really.
Apple once asked, if even Kyn feels she's like Kay and that under***d gf is like me, then how come Kyn and me never fell in love?
That will be, the nightmare of the century.
(Because Kyn will drive me mad at the dinner table... when she picks out all the food that she doesn't like to eat and that would be just about everything...)
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:54